A Skill for Leading a Fulfilling Life
Free falling occurs when you give yourself totally to gravity. When you are in a state of literal freefall, you choose to release control to the open air and wind in your face as you sail toward the earth. If you aren’t terrified by heights, the feeling is complete exhilaration with an awesome view.
Yet skydiving is a well-calculated risk. Before my jump, I checked the stats on how many people die from skydiving. In 2023, there were 10 deaths out of 3.65 million jumps mostly due to landing problems, and the numbers are decreasing each year with better safety protocols and training. The company we went with, Skydive Houston, passed the safety test.
I like to jump but with some knowledge of the risks.
It wasn’t my first literal leap of faith. Twenty-five years ago, I was at a conference in Switzerland when I decided to parasail off one of the highest alps.1 That was even scarier than skydiving because once we got to the top, my task was to run to and off the cliff. I had to run as fast as I could so when we reached the edge, we would take off with the parachute.
Sound crazy? My brain thought so. It screamed at me to stop as I ran full speed. My muscles learned what it feels like to be courageous when you are terrified. But I knew I was going to experience something awesome as I saw my beautiful world in a new way. And, I was connected to a guy with a parachute who had years of experience with no fatalities.
That experience is carved into my brain. The run into the unknown with my brain and body screaming at me was both overwhelming and magnificent.
“Fear is a message warning us life could change. Unfortunately, most people interpret the sensation of fear to mean the worst is going to happen.“
As stupid as running to jump off an Alp might seem, I had a deep desire to discover something new and beautiful. My fear helped me know my courage. When my dear friend and colleague, Zeina Ghossoub, invited me to skydive for our birthdays, I was eager to have the experience of jumping with fear again.
Jumping into the Unknown
Free falling by choice exemplifies the willingness to lose control. The lyrics of Tom Petty’s song, Free Fallin, represent accepting the paradox of freedom and disconnection. He’s left behind stability, and now he’s falling alone into the unknown. The unknown can be lonely, confusing, and frightening. It can also be the opportunity to fully experience life.2
The actress, comedian, and producer, Lucille Ball said, “I’d rather regret the things I’ve done than regret the things I haven’t done.”
Taking risks often means letting go of what we know, even if what we know is stale and unfulfilling. Letting the known fall away is how a new way of seeing or being can fully emerge.
The day before the skydive, I had to watch a video and sign 9 pages of declarations saying if I die, I won’t sue the company. This was a more meaningful reflection for me than the dive. It made me think if I died, was I leaving anything undone? I am so grateful that my answer was “no.”
Because of all the leaps I have made in my life, I felt I had accomplished my purpose. Yes, I hope to do more, but after 70 years of adventures, life lessons, losses, heartbreaks, betrayals, successes, loving relationships and dear friends, I can gratefully claim a full life.
I have led my life by jumping. Every job I took was a leap into the unknown. And then I jumped into my own business without knowing what would transpire. My courage was fueled by having a life purpose plus the knowledge of the strengths I have that kept my hopes and dreams alive.
Purpose is Your Parachute
The poet and activist, Audre Lorde said, “When I dare to be powerful, to use my strengths in service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important that which I am afraid.”
As Rick Tamlyn said in a recent blog post, the sweet spot is when we move through life with no fear but have some idea of why we are choosing our next steps. “We have both an intentional direction and an openness to how life will unfold.”3
Many of you have read in my books, seen my TEDx talks4, or heard me speak about my experience in jail at 20 years old. The story culminated with my cellmate, sick of hearing me whine about my useless life, slammed me against the wall to say, “You have no idea who you are. You are smart, you’re strong, and you care deeply about people. When you get that in here (she pointed to her heart), you can do anything out there.”
Armed with a sense of my strengths as my powers, I left jail with a second chance at life. I had a purpose to make a similar difference for others as my cellmate did for me. I didn’t know how I would accomplish my purpose, but every leap I have made since then gave me more experience, more skills, and more strength to refine and move toward a meaningful vision. When I found coaching, I could clearly see my vision come alive.
To help you leap, contemplate these questions:
- Am I still learning in the life I am living or is it time to leap into a new challenge?
- What strengths do I have that will help me fly when I take on a new challenge?
- When do I feel most fulfilled? Can I use these moments to identity the purpose I want to realize in this life?
- What will I do next if my leap doesn’t work out as I had hoped? What might come next based on what I learn from this experience?
The poet Jane Hirshfield said, “We cannot let our ideas blind us to our unknowing.” I hope you find many ways to fly in this lifetime.
1 Marcia Reynolds, “Do You Have the Courage to Coach,” blog post on Covisioning.com, June 1, 2021.
2 Ronny Bennett, “Free Fallin’” Lyrics Meaning, LyricStories.com, March 12, 2025.
3 Rick Tamlyn, “Life’s not about big answers… it’s about bold distinctions” blog post on RickTamlyn.com/blog, August 24, 2025.
4 Marcia Reynolds, “How to Use Anger as a Force for Good” TEDxAtlanta, April 12, 2019.
